Love & Murder of Miss Zanzara

He still remembers when she visited his house as a complete stranger on a cool romantic rainy day. It was around 6:30 pm on the 1st of July in the mid 90's. She was Zanzara - sweet cute lovable and friendly. She seemed so reserved and shy type and probably that attracted him towards her. Their acquaintance started from there and gradually evolved into a much intimate relationship with neither of them realizing the same. Her visits to his house became more frequent and he also couldn't stop her from doing that. She used to live near the temple pond aka "ambalakkulam" adjacent to the lush green paddy field. But he made it a point not to visit her place due to specific reasons.





She felt much comfortable beside him cheering him up and he also felt happy to have her by his side. She inturn became an energizer - freshening him up giving him a new life. Many a times he wanted to ask about her detailed whereabouts but never she seemed interested in disclosing it and hardly he worried about it. As long as the relationship is healthy and smooth going, he didn't want to bother about her nationality or religion or whatever but he had heard the villagers saying that she has her roots somewhere in Italy. His father was always against this relationship as he knew the dire consequences of this affair.
The hero could visualize the problems he might face because of this intimacy getting deeper and deeper but he could not just control it. So it just went on...His mother was always by his side and wanted him to go on with his wishes and dreams though she never encouraged her son's relationship. He felt affectionate towards Zanzara as he was interested in music and she was an equally good singer.
The hero's elder sister often seen as an emotionally phlegmatic lady reacted one day sharply to Zanzara for her untimely visits and meetings with him. His sister was indeed his well wisher and wanted him to be cautious while giving too much freedom to Zanzara in their house. Once Zansu comes, she gets into the bedroom which she considers as a secluded romantic spot and stays there for hours, sometimes till late nights though parents didn't like this at all ! They kept mum as they had good faith in their son that he won't get into any unhealthy relationship. It later happened that his father could not tolerate it anymore and would not let the doors open for her. Though hero loved her much, he wanted her not to come during night times as it may create rumours among his neighbours. Days passed by and they didn't realize that they were becoming more and more closer.She always used to boast about her soft shining long legs which even he felt was indeed her USP.



Over the years they understood that they have so much in common, their tastes, likes and dislikes, the change of moods everything had a good frequency match. They both loved to spend time together during night times when his family members were out. She was crazy in having candle light dinner romance with him though he was not much inclined to it. Slowly but steadily both got entangled in the deeper pleasures of this affair and they started treading the wrong paths on many such unguarded moments. But he noticed that Zansu was very much afraid of fire, and he noticed quite a few times Zansu fainting near the candle light !

Their secret meetings continued - sometimes during the moonlit nights amidst the lush green paddy fields....sometimes in his bedroom itself... Everything was going perfect for him....he was ecstatic and proud for getting such a wonderful companion....But....that night, it happened! Most painful and traumatic night of his life! It was unbearable when he felt that his loved one has walked out of his life. Just like that.....Yes, she has literally kicked out all those sincere love and affection they had developed over the years...when that Italian lady with long legs went in search of a new guy in his absence. Hero was returning from grocery shop by 9 PM when he heard some strange sound from his neighbour Arun's house. He approached Arun's window curiously only to see the heart breaking scene....She has let him down! She ditched him all these years... He thought she is for him....He considered her as his own....But reality is different....she is not his anymore.....

She has shared the bed with Arun....Hero was spellbound and was panting and perspiring and peeping thru the window, he could see that the bed room lights were off except a dim light on the corner. Hero could not digest the fact that Miss Zanzara whom he thought was his own had a clandestine relationship with his neighbour Arun!!



Arun's Sony 15.4" 1280 x 800 resolution LCD screen laptop monitor was seen from outside and behind the laptop, vagued out by the monitor brightness, he could get an obscured vision of Zanzara on top of Arun. He slammed open the door and barged in to Arun's bedroom to catch the love making duo red handed...Seeing him, Arun put on his clothes immediately and apologized him for what all happened. Arun told he is innocent and was preparing for his US University distance education online MS course when she entered his bedroom with clear intentions. But hero was not willing to lend an ear to Arun's excuses. But hero noticed Arun's browser page which read http://masters-degrees-online.us/vocabularium/Zanzara

She was mesmerising.....her love SUCKS....but he had no option left than to take her life. He went near her and before she could even utter a word, he beat her to death !!! A brutal murder !May be he is insane, mad in love but he had to do that ! He sacrificed his love for his sustenance, his survival, his long life.



Next day early morning before the village was waking up, Arun's servant maid took out Zanzara's body which was lying under the cot in a pool of blood. While the maid followed up with the cremation proceedings, a paper note left unnoticed was lying under the bed. It read : "Most of the people claim that they don't let little things bother them, but those people were never ready to share their bed and sleep with me ....But you gentlemen did...Thanks a ton!"

While Zanzara's body was taken to hospital for postmortem before the cremation, those gentlemen were diagnosed anaemic and admitted in the same hospital.....

May Zanzara's soul rest in peace !
I hereby dedicate my small poem to Zanzara....

An Elegy

She hated the DEFINITION of LOVE until they met
She hated the PERCEPTION of LOVE until they loved
She realized the POWER of LOVE only when they started missing each other....
She was Zanzara, she sucks and her love sucks!

Sasneham
Sanbalas

A Rendezvous to Remember

Time - 3 PM
Venue: NSS School

It was the get together of the school mates....after a long long time...for the first time...after the school days...

The school witnessed a handful of happy wonderful moments...the fabric of moments strung together in our school premises with the delicate thread of time spanning 200 mins with just 4 people! It was the the NSS School 95'Batch re union with a much meagre count...

Myself though always arrive late for the assembly and jump in on the last moment just to say "Assembly Dispersed" took a conscious effort to be a responsible school leader atleast now to chip in early on the school premises after almost 11 years of gap !

The Gates were closed - the main gate, the small side gate as well as the NSS Working Women's Hostel gate on account of Onam Hols....
Njhaan parungunnathu kandu oru 50+ aged man samshayam thonniyittu ennodu chodcichu "hmm enthaa vendae...enthaa kaaryam"

I said that I was a student of the NSS school and passed out in 1995 and we have planned for a re union and get together of the old batch at 3 PM here. He was delighted and asked how many is expected.
I retorted: Around 20 + minimum...
Little did I know that it would be just 4 to sum it up !!!

He told his name as thankappan - the peon and said has been here for the past 10 years and mohanan and bhaskaran (paakkaran as we used to call) are still working there and told about Vincent Sir, Happy Miss and few others.
I was delighted to see his courtesy in offering me the meen(fish) curry he had packed for his lunch though I said "No, Thanks!"
He opened for me the side gate and I found myself the comfortable cozy place - none other than our "paalappoo thara" located just after the main gate on the right side. Awaiting others, it was nostalgia raining for the next few moments with absolute silence as the backdrop creating an aura of ecstasy - a moment of tranquility personified !

Afterall it is still a Bachelor's blood flowing thru - so looked around and caught first in sight the working Women's hostel adjacent to the school compound separated by a wall. The school boy in me still consider that as a taboo - well I convinced myself that being an eligible bachelor, now I have every right and the privilege to google there! A horizontal scanning followed by a vertical scanning across the floors resulted in zero results....- hopes died down as all the windows were closed - it is expected as its Onam time!

Looked behind....The INDIA MAP is still on the wall - is still looking FRESH.....quoting of the different cities/places of INDIA there refreshed my geography knowledge and position of many places still seemed an INFO to me.....

I felt the rains haven't faded the MAP wall paints or rather the COLOUR of INDIA...
Neither our spirits have got dampened over these years or rather the SPIRIT of NSS BATCH....Else the get together idea would not have even kicked off....

Looked around to see the PIPE area, the taps were seen slightly rusted here and there.
My memories went back to the school days and the manner in which I got elected as the school leader.Me and my friend Kishore after lunch always go together to the PIPE section to wash hands. With lunch box in left hand, everytime when we cross the Principal's office room to reach the water taps, we both used to give a RIGHT-HAND 'HALF NAMASTE' (with the unwashed hand full of rice and curry items spread over) to greet him with graceful gesture slightly bowing the head. This made us to get in to his good books and inturn became the prime reason for choosing me and my friend as contestants for the school leader post during my 10th std stint.
Moreover we were supposedly belonging to the 'padippists aka toppers' fraternity.

Both of us were called to the Principal's room and asked : Can one of you become the school leader ?
As it was like a bolt out of the blue, we both were hesitant to say YES.
He left us with no option and called in the LKG Class teacher over the phone to bring one of her students to the Principal room. We were caught unawares and looked at each other puzzled. Principal tore off a page from one of his scribbling pads kept on his table. Tore it into 2 halves and wrote on one piece "Santhosh Balasubramanian" and other piece "Kishore.P.Radhakrishnan". Folded both and threw into his table. LKG student was told to pick up one of the folded pieces and thus I became the SCHOOL LEADER !!!

Back to present....By this time about 20 mins would have had elapsed...A thick moustache guy in Kinetic Honda arrived....
Oru Chandana Kuriyum undu....Kandaal Oru Sathweekan...Onnu shangichu.....It was Vijay Narayan of Class 10B... It is not a lonely planet anymore....I felt happy....

Pinnae we had lots of kochu varthamaanams.....about IT, software etc etc....Not seeing others turning up, Vijay one of the prime organisers called up the other key group 'activists'. They had their own busy schedules and was sad that they could not make it for the event.

Rajesh joined us who took some time off from his Branch Head activities of Centurion bank. We continued our school visheshangal when a GYM BODY in Full Formals in his BULLET slowed down near NSS school gate - it was our Sarin Poulose. Hats off to him as he drove down all the way from Kunnamkulam for attending our get together! Called up all the possible numbers from our contact list to woo in the oldies and have some fun time - but in vain!

We four went inside the school premises and 2hrs we spent time inside discussing about our teachers, class mates, batch mates, memories associated with every nook and corner of the school - the ground where we used to play hand cricket, the principal room, the drinking water taps, the toilets, the cycle stand, the LKG UKG swing or the oonjhaal, padarnnu panthalicha maavu and many other stuffs.

It was a flash back - dived into the memories of school life - the innocent boys in trousers/pants and girls in skirts and all naughty stuffs done to teachers and fellow mates.
We sipped in the school tap water to get ourselves into the school days and feel rejuvenated but we felt chlorinated rather !!

Sarin repeatedly was talking about my "class leader role and varthamaanam perezhuthal" and sarin always in my 'TALKER'S LIST' and always getting "chutta adi" from teachers. I apologised saying as 'part of the process' though he didn't ask for it and all was fun and laughter. We noticed few new constructions - one more floor on the Prinicpal's Office building side and one special cemented construction resembling a "pashu thozhuthu" (cow shed) in Rajesh's words near the aaalthara for reasons unknown. The trio except me had all their 12 yrs memories attached to the school - from LKG to 10th standard. Sarin was calculating the fees he had given to NSS school right from his LKG and Vijay and Rajesh assisted him in calculation. The Vincent Sir's previously thatched roof tuition centre was no longer there behind the school and instead he has constructed a 3 storeyed building for it !

We did a pradakshinam around the school and checked the latrine and toilet cleanliness which was always neglected and seldom bothered when we were having our academics there. The dilapidated walls and broken benches were seen inside the classrooms thru the partly opened windows and snaps were taken at various places to capture the old memories and infact they were the moments of exuberation. Calls from many old batchmates during the time helped us to boost our morale and raise our spirits !

We planned to have some juice from the adjacent Mayor Stores but Sarin was afraid to have an encounter with Mayoraettan aka Robin as there were lots of UNACCOUNTED biscuits/juices/ponds powders taken from there years ago! Along with Jimmy,Joby and others NSS team has sneaked in and snatched a lot of items from Mayor stores - which can be attributed to childish recalcitrance or innocence or follies or whatever. My tongue has still the taste of those unaccounted cream biscuits my fellow friends procured from this shop. Since the "kutthippokkal cases after 20-30 years" being the toast of the season and headlines in papers, Sarin didn't want to take chances with Mayorettan for his possible "PALISHA SAHITHAM KANAKKU VAANGAL"and so we set off to the Varkeys supermarket after taking a BYE BYE photo from NSS compound.

The peon Thankappan had finished his late lunch - rice & fish curry and also seemed had a good evening nap as well.....His eyes were searching for those 20+ NSS oldies supposed to arrive there..... Thanks to him, he had enough common sense and understood the grim reality and hence did not ask me infront of the other guys..... He posed for the Canon infront of the Women's hostel and his smile seemed contagious and we said alvidaa to him as well....

From Varkeys supermarket, we had apple shakes and some puffs items and we departed by 6:30 PM.

I sent a long mail to the recently formed NSS Group id detailing the get together.
I concluded like this....

"Folks, this was for those who could not make it for the event..... This re union was just a prelude....Next Time we must have a BIG crowd attending the get together and let us take a sanguine stand and we would make it in a much better way....But it was really a nice time to ruminate those good old school days with our fewer friends around and the vast NSS school compound to witness all these and share with us the happiness and be a part of those treasured moments !!! "

Sasneham

Sanbalas

'Idle Argument' & IT Industry - A philosophical study

(1) Either I will be laid off from the company or I will not.

(2) If I will be laid off, I will be laid off whatever precautions I take.

(2*) If I will be laid off whatever precautions I take, then all precautions will be ineffective.

(2') So, if I will be laid off, all precautions will be ineffective (from 2).

(3) If I will not be laid off, I will not be laid off whatever precautions I neglect.

(3*) If I will not be laid off whatever precautions I neglect, then all precautions will be superfluous.

(3') So, if I will not be laid off, all precautions will be superfluous (from 3).

(4*) A precaution that is ineffective or superfluous is pointless.

(4) Therefore, all precautions are pointless (from 1, 2' and 3').


The conclusion creates confusion as it seems logical at the same time sophistical. It comes in as a direct blow to the people who cashes in on judicial deliberations.


The argument implies 'whatever happens in the future is already unavoidable'
No matter you take precautions or not, if event X is destined to happen, it would happen.
It asserts that any event bound to happen would happen independent of your actions, deeds, thoughts and efforts.
Agreed…..but does it mean that our precautions we take or the planning we form or the estimations we come up for a Project… all are pointless ??
Pointless just because irrespective of all these, if the Project is destined to be a failure in the future? Project you work on may get shelved because of sudden lack of funding or business breakdown or economy slowdown or change in business strategy – reasons galore.

Let us stop here and go back again to the argument of Fatalism and take Buller’s analysis to start with.
Let us analyze in greater detail…

(2) is ambiguous between

(2a) If I will be laid off, then I will be laid off and the precautions, if any, that I will take will not help me from being laid off
and
(2b) If I will be laid off, then I will be laid off and there are no precautions I can take which are such that I would not be laid off if I were to take them.

I will be laid off and the precautions, if any, that I will take will not prevent my being laid off
But its not true that....
If I will be laid off, then it is pointless to take precautions

Though I am going to be laid off, if I were to release the product in time or perform better (which I will in fact not do as its destiny), I should not be laid off....
Of course the company itself must not be in a loss to lay me off

Consider this way - I am going to be laid off,
And there is a precaution I can take which would prevent my layoff. It is not pointless for me to take precautions, since by taking precautions I can sustain in my company.

So....
If there are no precautions I can take which are such that I would not be laid off if I were to take them, then it is pointless to take precautions.

Fatalism requires that, if I actually will be laid off, I will be laid off no matter what my circumstances are.

But fatalism does not assert the view that there are some situations in life in which the outcome is beyond our control, rather, it is the view that all situations in life are those in which "the future will be of a certain nature regardless of what we do"
Sometimes, in spite of our efforts, we cannot do things that we want to do.
Although it seems reasonable that we can do these things. .. It was fated that.

The design was perfect, the coding was equally good. The test plan covered every possible scenario to test the product. All corner cases were looked into and all possible bugs were found by the QA and fixed by the developers. FCS is all set in and release dates fixed.
Suddenly an FCS blocker pops up from nowhere ! The release dates get pushed…..whole team back in action burning the midnight oil to release at the earliest….
The FCS happens smoothly…..
Still…..when it goes in the production network, the customer finds a P1 bug !

We call it ill-luck or fate and go for the postmortem analysis. Team does an RCA (Root Cause Analysis) and finds how the imperfection came in and closes the issue.

On the other hand, there are cases where we very easily do things we can not dream about. In such circumstances naturally emerges the idea of fate.

There is no chance he can get through the interview as he performed badly – still he is IN !
There is no chance that he could have got promotion as he faired poorly but still he fetched it !

I have tried all the ways to avoid encounter with traffic police, but still I get caught somehow. Why so ?

It seems very easy to achieve x. I do whatever is usually needed to achieve x, even more than that, but I fail. Or, it seems practically impossible to achieve y. I do something to achieve it, usually regarded as definitely not sufficient to achieve it, and I succeed. How come?

Perhaps it is psychologically easier to give a name "FATE" and blame - for our failures than ourselves. Since this form of argument applies to anything that happens, if sound, this argument shows that we can not make any influence whatsoever on the course of events. If this really is so, then a rational mind would dare to make a try since
there is no way we could prevent events we do not want to happen, nor way we could bring about events we want to happen.

Now let me come out of the philosophy and get back to PRESENT and start working !
The release date is nearing….. It may happen on time or dates may get pushed too far as well. I cannot take a laid back approach clinging onto the ‘Idle Argument’ and say to my Manager “Whatever happens in future is already unavoidable , so let us keep cool for the FCS”
He may reply: “Sanbalas, your lay off also is already unavoidable”

The above was a peep thru and my blatant analysis to the concept of Fatalism and as I read somewhere this is just a logical culmination of “an overflow of emotions collected in tranquility”. Let us take a sanguine perspective and learn from all our mistakes and failures and aim for improvisation in every aspect – be it in our sharpening of the skills or shaping up of the human values. Our LIFE is too short to LEARN LIFE in its entirety. Every moment counts….

Sasneham
Sanbalas

July 27th....It has been 5 years since .....

July 27th... Today it has been 5 years since I .......

Called up my parents and the PERSON to whom I am so much
obliged....
I am grateful to her....for all the help & affection.....

Looking back.....
Where I was and Where am I now......
Some things are there which cannot be forgotten..... wherever the LIFE's vicissitudes take you through.....whatever be the vagaries of fate..... certain experience in LIFE never get buried under the sands of TIME.......
Yes.... I can NOT forget HER ever in my LIFE.....

Let me express my heartfelt sincere thanks to her and if at all I am in a better POSITION now, 80% credit goes to HER support and motivation though she may deny.

Sasneham
Sanbalas

HARSHAEDAMMA

Mid-eighties...
My IInd standard quarterly exam results are out. This time also luckily I didn’t flunk in the drawing exam paper - a just PASS. Convent school sister again called up my parents to comment on my progress report. Have scored centum or near centum in almost all the papers but drawing – as usual a narrow escape! No improvement in the last 3 years - right from UKG to IInd standard, class rank has never crossed up 5 despite good marks - fluctuating between 7 & 10, thanks for including drawing marks to the aggregate for calculating the class rank.
Kalikkoottukaari cum ayalathe paenkutti - Harsha. She was my classmate cum friend cum neighbour. She generally fetches less marks than me in all the papers but scores near centum in drawing. When the exam results are out - be it the unit tests or the major exams, harshaedamma (harsha's mother) as I used to call would come beside the fenced wall which separates our houses and cry out asking to my Amma (mother) : Santhoshinu Ethrayaa drawing nu (How much Santhosh has for drawing)
Amma would hesitantly reply: Pass aayi
Standing in the verandah, this 7 year old would wonder: Why harshaedamma is not asking about my marks in other papers? Harshaedamma knows well that I would have scored better than Harsha in all the other papers and hence cleverly avoids asking further questions. My amma as well know this and so she used to keep quiet.This continued after every unit tests/exams. Rarely when my mom poses the same question to Harsha, she would smile back innocently. Harshaedamma would then intervene and comes up with her tactful response: I didn’t ask her all the marks but she told that she has got 24/25 in drawing.
Harshaedamma doesn’t remember anything except her drawing paper exam mark! She used to give mom a lecture on the importance of drawing in nurturing the child’s creativity, handwriting etc etc. Her theory was that the kids who develop good drawing skills later develop good handwriting as well. Everytime when she meets amma she would ask “Any progress in his drawing” ? Amma’s doleful look would answer Harshedamma’s query and she would seem pacified with it.

But it was rather a grim fact that I was never good at drawing. Harshedamma’s theory went right – I did not pick up good handwriting as well. It was a herculean task for me to draw the figure of a mango or lotus or candle. I would sincerely struggle to sketch it but in vain. Mango would look like cashew nut and cashew would shape up as a grape with my pencil. The answer sheet would have lot of dark patches with nearly torn off paper and my eraser would have reduced in size by 1/2. Tried changing pencils blaming it as the culprit. HB, 2B, B all were sincerely co-operating with their 'holder' but they too relinquished the idea of reforming this guy.

As myself and Harsha were good play friends, we never quarrelled or had any discussion about exam scores amongst us but I always felt estranged towards harshaedamma.But she was indeed good at drawing which even I cannot deny. I came to know that I would not be having drawing subject from 5th standard onwards and hence I was longing to get past 4th standard to start scoring better rank than Harsha. But father was in govt service and hence got transferred to thrissur after my 3rd standard and the hopeful winds of revenge died down.

Years went by but my drawing skills never improved. I found the ruler/scale to be helpful in drawing straight lines but keeping the ruler in a straight horizontal position never worked out for me. Somehow to my surprise I could always score centum in Math when it was needed and that too for the crucial exams. I possessed such an amazing dexterity that even with a compass, drawing a circle would turn out to be an inward/outward spiral !! My sister was good at sketch and that helped me in finishing my home work assignments neatly and scoring high. Being the son of a doctor, everyone except my parents wanted me to choose his path. My parents were very clear about my artistic sense and so never ever they interfered in this matter. To pursue medicine, I have to opt for biology and my pre-conceived notion that it mandates good drawing skills forced me to opt out claiming it as the "strategic retreat". During my childhood days mom wanted me to become an architect but over the years she had enough sense to visualize his son struggling to draw the plan of a building and hence never expressed her wish later. No chance for Biology - I decided to go for Engineering. Drawing is not going to work out and felt it as more of a taboo for me - so better to keep myself off !!! The art of drawing – that talent must be inherent and I don’t have it - I convinced myself.
This dreadful ‘drawing monster’ re-appeared ever stronger in the form of Graphics paper during my B.Tech 1st year and I still remember my tough struggles to get thru the exam. After passing that paper, I was much happy to dispose off my ‘waste weapon’ – the MINI DRAFTER to my ECE junior.

Fortunately my profession neither demands good drawing skills nor handwriting skills – so far so good. Now also when sister's daugther Gayathri approaches me with her drawing book to 'colour the fruit' or 'draw the animal' task, I would tactfully avoid her or change the topic to escape from this ‘mission impossible’ art. Gayathri has good respect for her uncle till now and myself doesn't want to lose that.
Missing is the whereabouts of Harsha and Harshaedamma. In the early 90's we heard that the grocery shop they were running went in loss and eventually they had to move out of that place. But my crazy hope never ends here. By next 10 years, I expect to have my child and make him/her good at drawing and score more than Harsha's child and give my mother the chance to shoot back the same old question to Harshaedamma if at all we ever meet them. Sure the world is small and it would happen. Let me see how that grandmother replies then. Lingering hopes to take a sweet revenge thru my child something which I could not accomplish all thru my life. It would then be a moment to cherish.... a moment to treasure.... a moment of peaceful exuberance - tranquility personified.

Sasneham

Sanbalas

Samu, Myself & Our Encounters

The year 2001 witnessed the bursting of the dotcom bubble and showed up looming signs of the recession villain.Retrenchment, downturn, downsizing, layoffs - these were the common terms heard across in every nook and corner. 9/11 attack further deteriorated the situation and the economy stumbled and plummeted. The downturn villain took its toll on job recruitments by freezing it and desiccating the campus placement cells which were once the hopes of budding engineers like me.Unfortunately to me the B.Tech passing out coincided with this horrifying 2k1.

Pinning hopes high on its cardinal, I set off to chennai in an effort to plot my career co-ordinates.Chennai Central seemed pretty big compared to my Thrissur railway station. Is this my destiny ? I recollected the saying: “It might just be your destiny, dont define it, just let it happen.” Reaching the Chennai central out gate, the auto-waalaas approached like swarming bees and I was delighted to see their hospitality. But the happiness didn't last long when I got myself into the heated exchange on deciding the autofare and coming to a consensus. It was exorbitant in comparison with Kerala auto rates and the heavily crowded buses left me no other choice to commute. Haggling with the three wheelers everytime for 40-50 rupees forced me to get my Samu (Suzuki Samurai Bike) from the streets of GOD's own country to the highways of HEAT's own country.

Everything happened lightning fast and within a week Samurai landed at Chennai Central - as a hero to relieve his master from the clutches of the autowaalaas and age old MTC buses. But to have a count of 31 traffic police-captures to my credit in the days & months to come – that was never ever dreamt of !



Chennai Central Railway Station...
Alleppey express arrived on time and myself and Samu arrived safely. Its wee hours and the city is slowly waking up. Tank was emptied before transporting and hence Samu's thirst had to be taken care and the near by bunk quenched it. It was Sunday early morning and so the notorious city traffic snarls were missing. The ride was straightdrive on the Poonamallee road and all the signals at approaching junctions were green. A welcome feeling to Samu -it seemed perfect and good omen. Samu picked up the speed and the momentum and the joyful morning ride continued till the Egmore junction where Newton's IInd Law appeared in the form of a red signal and decelerated us to zero.
Oblivious of the red signal junction I was humming an old Tamil song until I was intervened by a shrieking voice from behind - 'Kerala Payyannnnn - dai kerala payyan". A dark pot bellied policeman sporting a sinister smile was standing behind.
As a reciprocation, I smiled back at him.All of a sudden jumped onto me, took off the bike key and started walking away yelling out 'oaaramaa park pannu, NOC yaedu'(park on the side and come with NOC).

To bring my Samu onto chennai streets sooner, I didn’t bother much to get the official formalities done from native. The no-objection papers are missing - as simple as that. Traffic Police (TP) ordered: No NoC? come to mobile court and case would be filed!

All my years in Kerala, I haven't had any encounter with TPs fortunately. How to handle them in this new place? I was caught unawares. I muttered 'hmm enna pannano' (what to do)
TP replied instantly: 300 Rs kodungae

Samu seemed confiding on me - Samu was sure that his master would never take chances to take him to the police station premises. I gave 150 only but he seemed much happy and returned the key with the typical colgate smile we usually receive at tollgates.

Poonamallee road stretches long and countless junctions ahead. I asked him genuinely in half-tamil:Yaaraavathu next junctionil pudichaa enna pannano
(If some other TP catches me in next junction, what shall I do)
Came in the spontaneous reply from TP: Intha junctionil koduthaachu nu sollidungae
(Tell them that you have paid at this junction !!)

It took some time for me to digest this ‘shared-network’ concept but later over the years and with more TP interactions I realized the grim fact - they maintain a common account and would be in massive collecting spree once the month end approaches - or else they are answerable to their superiors !

My ammamman (mother's brother) had been in a pretty high position as the IAS officer and unfortunately left us while he was in service. Though he was no more, everyone knew by his name.With the consent of ammayi (his wife), I decided to release this trump card incase if I get caught later and only if all my other excuses fail. By this time I had my NOC papers also ready but validity was there for 6 months only.

New to the language - so byhearted and recited the necessary and sufficient dialogues to deal with the chennai cops to release the trump card - ' Ennudae thaai maaama vanthu IAS officer" (My mother's brother is an IAS officer) Any further interrogation by TP would be answered in English - the modus operandi was all set to execute.
Seeing Samu with KL-8 registration, the TPs face brightens- non possession/expired NOC yields them the BIG fish. First dialogue goes like this "Kerala payyan oaramaa park pannungae....papers kaamingae....NOC kaamingae"
Kerala payyan would show the license papers, insurance papers & still if the TP doesn't concede, Samu's Master's voice would recite the 1 liner poem 'ennude thaaimaama vanthu...'. I knew well that I would then be let scot free but I always ensured that I wouldn't use it if caught for any traffic negligence on my part.



Over the months, I learnt the art of skilful evasion - at red signal junctions stop Samu behind some heavy vehicles, never go to the extreme left of the roads, when you spot the TP, never ever look towards him, wearing helmets and formal shirts & trousers also creates a high escape-quotient of such police checks.

The B.Tech guy landed in the city to get rid of the 'fresher' tag and setting up his career co-ordinates but the recession villain girding up his loins seemed ever stronger and lady luck seemed always eluding. Days went by....job was not clicking....no interview calls....lay offs & downsizing rampant and experienced people as well bore the brunt of the marketfall.

Job hunting process went smoother with Samu but to make matters worse, whenever I get an opportunity once in a bluemoon to attend an interview or a written exam, these TPs would pop up. I encountered TPs almost everywhere - the same story continued - the trump card would set me free in the end. TPs became my best friends to improve my communication skills in Tamil as well as English. Anna Nagar traffic police, vadapalani police, parrys corner police, rv nagar police, adayar police all became familiar faces.

Jobless frustration went up… much much faster than the soaring mercury levels of Chennai heat and had its own psychological repercussions. Studied in good college, good marks – but no job! Sometimes it drove me crazy.
Once when the TP at Madhya Kailash Adayar spotted the approaching KL-8 bike, he showed hand signals to stop for checking NOC & other papers. Somehow to cross the signal, I sped past the cop and after travelling half a mile had an enlightenment. Risk aversion kills innovation - so let me face it and see the results. Immediately took a U-turn and and stopped Samu near the traffic junction. The hefty cop with the big moustache got really surprised. I explained: Sorry saar sariyaaa pakkalae, athaa miss pannittaen...chollungo enna vishayo....ethukkaaka stop panna sonnaen.. ( Sorry Sir, I didn't notice you, tell me why you wanted me to stop) He remained spell bound and after a few seconds silence he told: Illay nothing saar...pongae. (Nothing Sir, you may go)I was rather expecting some conversations with him and improving my Tamil vocabulary as well as to kill the boredom which was predominant those days with nothing to do other than eat & sleep.




The most embarassing incident was with the TP at Anna Nagar roundtana. I was stopped on the "free-left" while I was coming from Ayyappan Temple on a Sunday morning. Since I had to reach ammayi's house soon, before TP asking anything I blabbered
"ennude thaaimaama vanthu IAS officer". Unlike other TPs he was a very old chap and retorted respectfully in pure tamil : Aengae, naaan ungatta onnumae kaekkaliyae saar, pakkatha bus stop il konjam drop pannamudiyumaa, urgentaaa ponoum ( Sir,I
didnt ask you anything, if you dont mind can you pls drop me at the nearest bus stop, its urgent)
I felt so awkward. I recollected the word 'discombobulation' which I learnt during my B.Tech days - a befitting word for this situation. He got into the pillion seat and on that short ride to the next bus stop I was given more of a parental advice about what all papers I need to carry including pollution check certificate, about cautious driving and primarily about their plight, their grievances, the numerous pockets to be filled to get the posting and so on and so forth. He was taking me into their world - I felt the pain walking in their shoes and realized that my earlier perception was wrong. Every month end they have to generate the committed collection to be handed over to their superiors failing which their posting may change/position may be at stake. That was the 19th TP encounter and I felt bad that none of the 18 TPs got benefitted out of me except the first.



There were kind TPs as well. Once when going to T.Nagar for attending a recruitment exam for a software company, Samu was caught. As time was running short, I tried to convince him that I am on the way for a job interview by showing my CV, marksheets and the worn formal shirts and pants as proof. He understood my situation and immediately let me go.
NOC validity period had lapsed by that time and myself was adjusting with the xerox of the xerox and changing the date and xeroxing it again. I need to be blamed for not shelling out 4000 bucks for re –registration. I was a job hunter and no guarantee to be permanent in Chennai – that fuelled myself to back out from the corrective action.

Well my ammayi likes ice creams a lot and so on my 25th traffic police encounter, I was so happy and that day I bought for her a family pack icecream since she had given me her consent to use the trump card though I hardly used it.Since I was keeping the count of encounters, 25th was special to me and the R.V.Nagar TP was surprised to see me so happy when I was caught. He went puzzled when I told him 'Thank You Sir' once he returned the papers after checking.

Eventually the Chennai TPs became nice companions to me.Once I even taught and guided the TPs at SDM stop (on the way to Greams Road) when they caught me and asked for NOC papers for Samu's KL8 registration. After showing up the NOC papers, one of the TP said: We know that the Non-TN registration vehicles must be asked for NOC but we dont know how to verify it, konjam solli kodukkireenglaaa.
I was happy to help them: NOC means No Objection Certificate and I explained them showing my NOC forms. Infact you are supposed to change your registration to TN or pay the road tax here - those details I hushed up. Anyway it was a knowledge sharing and all were happy.

There were annoying TPs as well particularly those I encountered at Nelson Manickyam Junction and the one at Vadapalani signal. These furtive policemen usually lurk in the corners and would literally pounce upon you, take off your keys and vanish. You have to go behind them with all the bike papers and apparently the 'Thaaaimaama factor' is of no use! Some TPs would never accept that the photo seen in license paper is mine. One TP even commented that the photo has to be changed as it looks young! I told I can change the xerox but not the photo and then he started arguing. Heated exchanges often turns productive and effective as I learn a lot many Tamil slang usages. Certain TPs would not let you go even if you have all the papers intact. The idea is to make you feel irritated and you decide to come out paying a few bucks to them. During the jobless days, I never concede to this as I had LAVISH time with me. Once I got into the job, I preferred paying 20Rs and flee the scene.
There have been encounters in which I ended up paying money – red signal crossing, lane violation in Mount road and few times for shading Samu under the non-parking zone.
If at all I have improved my Tamil communication, all credits go to the city traffic cops here. With meagre income, standing all thru the day sweating in the scorching chennai heat and regulating the traffic is not an easy job. The only extra bucks they earn is by catching the 'unlicensed' fellows off the record and then a big share of it again would go to their superiors.Lot many TP faces were familiar to me those days and our friendship at various traffic junctions as well grew stonger.

Atlast…..it happened. Myself by God's grace got into a pretty decent job in an MNC and confined myself within the airconditioned walls of the cubicles and TPs rarely got into my way.



Years went by…The encounters came down…. Maybe the transformation from the "COUNTRY LOOK" with black spex, hawai chappals and 35Rs. ‘foot path brand’ cap to the “PROFESSIONAL LOOK” with formal shirts trousers shoes helmets & id card did the trick. NOC papers are still the same old ones I had with the dates-changed with ink and xeroxed. The total count stands 31 as of now and out of these just 4 counts only in the last 4 years.. Over the years, I could notice that the once familiar faces at different junctions have been missing - may be they are new TP recruits or the older ones could not meet their collection targets and failed in their commitments.The once energetic and vibrant Samu has become old and 'chokes’ everytime. Samu's NOC papers got obsolete and neither of us want to renew it nor change the registration.Having gone thru so many encounters with the Chennai traffic police, myself and Samu can grasp and realize the finer nuances of the TP's behavioural patterns and over the course of time we both developed the maturity, the wisdom and the agility to move forward with perfect reflexes to avoid any encounters - The journey must go on and the life must move on....

Sasneham
Sanbalas

"THIRUMBNGAE" - In Retrospect

It was a cold Saturday morning of December 2001 in Chennai. It has been 4 months since I moved over to this city from GOD' s own country. Its about 7am and the sun had barely begun its journey across the sky or maybe in that side of Anna Nagar. I was ensconced in the warmth of the Kurl-on mattress and struggling to get myself up from the bed.

Ammayi (mother's sister) called out from one side "We are going out. Will be back in the evening. Breakfast is there on the table. Bhagyam will be coming.Give your clothes to her for washing" Rubbing off the sleep from my eyes, I replied "Yes! will do that. No probs”. I woke up and marched towards the table eager to sip on the steaming hot coffee and draw as much warmth from it. Taking up the idlies 4 the belly and switching on the idiot box, i skimmed thru tamil channels. Since I loved tamil songs, learning that language was my passion, though it seemed eluding always.

The other day when I tried to haggle with the shopkeeper over the price of a fancy item, i asked him "kodukkamaattiyaa" and in return he gifted me a deep stare with a brow-beating look. Ammayi warned me that in Tamil it is considered as lack of respect and advised me to ensure it by adding suffix "ngae" or "ngla" with all the verbs. Then you are safe or else more stares and frownings would be there for you in the offing !! I made it a habit to insert "ngae" wherever possible - okngae, byengae etc etc

Clock struck 11 and Bhagyam arrived, took the broom stick and started her usual work with sweeping first. I remembered ammayi saying once that Bhagyam is basically a telugu descendant but in Chennai for years etc etc

I kept my clothes in the bucket outside the house. Before getting on to the sofa again with the remote, I thought to inform her about the clothes to be washed.

In Malayalam, "thirumbal" means to wash. Lot of similar words in these two languages - so it should be "Thirumbal" in Tamil too. I presumed so.
Unaware that in Tamil it means "to turn", I approached her.

Me: Bhaagyam Thirumbngae (Bhagyam, pls wash)
Maid turned back and asked: Sollungae (Tell me pls)
I felt happy that she understood my requirement.

Me: Directing to the bucket with eye gestures I again told "thirumbngae"
Maid again turned 360 degree.

Supposing that she didn’t hear properly, I again told the same with slight modifications
Me : neengae thirumbanoumngae (You have to wash pls)

She felt irritated as she was making 3-4 round-turns
Maid: ethukkaaka thirumbano? (What for I should turn back)

I wondered how stubborn she is. When ammayi tells, she would obey it and do the job. But when I tell her to wash and that too with the so-called polite "ngae" suffix, she is questioning me! Maybe rather it is a question of prerogatives.

Me: Neengae thaan thirumbanoumngae.(You only have to wash pls)
Maid:Athaa thirumbeettaen llae ( That is what, I turned right?)

Me: eppo thirumbeettaengae? neengae thirumbaleengae. (When you washed? You haven’t washed)

Maid: Sari, ethana vaattee thirumbanoumnu solreengae? (ok, how many times do you expect me to turn back)

Oh she is asking how many times she should wash. I was happy - oh at last I could convey the matter successfully. Sporting a proud look on my face, I replied very professionally
Me: Oru vaatti thirumbiyaal pothumngae. (Just one time wash is enough pls)

She got irritated and bellowed
Maid: Ethukku? Nakkalaa? Kindal Pandriyaa? (Why? Are you playing? Teasing Me?)

I noticed Bhagyam taking a tight grip on her broomstick and raising it a bit higher.
I could smell that something has gone terribly wrong. The position vector of broomstick is varying and moving up in an exponentially curved path. I had a premonition – I must safely position myself - taking 2 steps back, I politely questioned her with placative gestures
Me: Neenga thirumba maatteenglaa Bhagyam? (Wouldn’t you wash pls Bhagyam?)

Maid: Yo....enna nenachae nee...romba pesaaathe... and it was just a prelude to the Verbal Volcanic Eruption !! The castigation followed with more and more "stuffed encomiums" which I had never come across till then!!!

Oh my GOD! My big eyes were welled with tears. First time getting severe scolding from the house maid and that too for asking her to wash. I didn’t miss any "ngae" also in my conversations with her. So what could be wrong despite giving much respect. I felt embarrassed as she kept on shouting and on higher decibels to be heard from far off streets.
Not daring to take any more chances, I went to the back yard, carried the bucket of clothes to the main hall and kept in front of her.

Letting out a sigh, i blabbered
Me: thirumbngae......bucketngae.......thirumbanoumngae...clothesngae..washngae

A silence descended over the house. Bhagyam with a smile asked me "thuni thoykkanoumaa ??"

Couldn’t get what she said but I replied "hmm..YES....YESngae".
And what followed in the evening was the exaggerated narration of the maid's "THIRUMBNGAE" story to my ammayi and the explanation of the word meaning "thirumbngae". The whole family bursted into laughter.

The very next day when I was waiting for the green signal at the traffic junction in the wee hours, a splendor-guy stopped with a screeching halt beside me and what was in store for me was the golden opportunity to apply my newly learnt word
- THIRUMBNGAE !!!

He asked with a call-centre cadence : Hey Boss, How to go R.V.Nagar?

I retorted in a laconic manner "Left thirumbngae straight right thirumbngae straight R.V.Nagar"

Signal has turned green. Putting the gear back into First I raced off from the junction tearing the curtain of morning fog and swirling it all around. While the December fog was busy rushing back in all thru my sped-off ways to claim the paths it has been so rudely and roughly displaced off, with an aura of pride I set my eyes on the distant glowing dim neon street lamps and whispered with a Duchenne smile
"Hey THIRUMBNGAE is not a bad word after all"

Sasneham Sanbalas

I too have a blog !!!

Had in mind about having a blog to my credit.....Atlast I created one......Thanks to my friend/colleague Anoop.G aka Poonaji for the inspiration or rather the persuasion.
Let me see how far I can jot down and how long it goes.....
From now on my PC Keys would be finding it hard to 'REST in PEACE' !!!